E? Heibon Desu yo?? Chapter 21
Hi guys, LynneSuzuran here! I am new to RtD team and I will work for Heibon series. My Japanese is not at expert level, but hopefully it can help you all to continue reading the series 🙂 Enjoy!
Translator : LynneSuzuran
TLC : Osura
Editor : Inconspicuous Ninja
The Healer Leone 2
I am a healer.
When I was on the verge of death, a role was given unto me, and so I survived.
My role is to save people.
Or so that was what I thought.
And that is why, in order to save people, I become a healer.
I believe it was God's will.
And yet, it is said that the villagers should be abandoned for the greater good?
[Leone, get a hold of yourself!!]
Suddenly, I am hugged by Rou.
Rou's big body hugs my body entirely, and the kind Rou's warmth gradually calms my trembling body.
[Rou… I… cannot possibly abandon the village's people…]
His big hand gently brushes my amber hair.
A firm hand, just like a military man's.
But, I know that these hands are really kind.
I had always been saved by these kind hands.
[I will always be by Leone's side. No matter what kind of decision you make]
I looked up at Rou and our eyes met.
What is reflected in Rou's eyes is none other than me who seems anxious and is about to cry.
But there was no hesitation in Rou's eyes.
I have to make my decision.
This is a heavy decision that will influence the lives of many people.
[Now, Miss, let's go]
Due to her old age, Selia-sama's walking speed was very slow, so Giese-san carried her on his back, and they sneaked out of the village in darkness.
The source of light was light balls Selia-sama made using magic, as it floated above the area.
It was a magic she could use because she wasn't healing.
I can not do something like that.
I try to minimise consuming power from my magic reserve daily in order to use it solely for the purpose of healing, after all.
She probably kept to that even when she wasn't healing.
And just like that, one hour had passed since we went out from the village, and at that time, Rou and I stopped walking.
Selia-sama and Giese-san noticed the sound of Rou and I's footsteps that stopped as we walked behind them, and they turned around.
[What's wrong, Miss?]
Rou and I, as if it was natural, were holding hands.
Rou, please lend me your strength.
I will make certain not to let you regret this.
Without shifting our gazes down, we'll both face off against Selia-sama.
[Selia-sama, Rou and I cannot come along beyond this point. We are going to remain at the village. We followed you to here to see you off.]
Selia-sama and Giese-san's face was dyed with surprise.
[Remain at the village?! Miss, let's be rational. Nothing good will happen by staying in this village!!]
[I am always rational. I will save them. I’ll show you that I can save them. I will try as long as the last drop of my strength allows me to!]
[Miss, you're indeed still a little girl. Naive! Too naive!!]
Selia-sama said cynically.
As I thought, the reason why Selia-sama called me Miss, so it held that kind of meaning, eh.
[You didn’t need to take the thankless role, Selia-sama. If you needed to give your report to the lord then you could have just left the village with Giese-san, but you decided to stay here for me instead. That was to try to save me, wasn’t it? Thank you very much. Even so, I am very sorry for trampling over Selia-sama's good will. But, if I were to abandon this village, then I would hate myself. That is why, I will stay here]
Yes. Selia-sama could have run away from here long ago.
But she didn’t do that.
I think that’s because I was still here, and she didn’t throw away her hopes that the village people could be healed somehow.
[Hyaaahahaha! How funny, you're way too amusing!! Giese, let me down]
Selia-sama laughed as she stepped onto the ground, and slowly she approached me.
[Those are nothing but whitewashed words. Even if Miss remains here, the villagers cannot be saved. Because the miasma could not be cured even when many healers challenged themselves to try. Worst case scenario, Miss, you could contract the miasma and die. But if Miss comes along with us, a lot more lives can be saved by you, Miss, from now on, and their future will continue to spin. The lives of the many, or the lives of the few. I think the answer is obvious to anyone when you think about it.]
Selia-sama's objection is very reasonable.
Even so, I am not the type of person that is able to feign ignorance, Selia-sama.
[Selia-sama, I'll still go regardless. If I were to die here, then that, too, is fate. There is no future and the like. If I were not to die here, then that, too, is fate. The future is connected. Selia-sama, in the end, the fate (T/N : the furigana says the future) is unknown to anyone. I am betting on even the slightest bit of possibility]
Yes, nobody knows what the future holds.
[I thought you were a smarter child than that, miss. And you're a selfish one at that. I guess that's just because of your youth]
[I think it cannot be helped that you called me selfish. Even still, I'm going to persist with my what I intend to do.]
Selia-sama comes right in front of me and we exchange glances.
Selia-sama and I stare at each other for a surprisingly long time.
As if we are confirming each other's resolve. The first one to yield is Selia-sama.
[It seems useless to prolong this any further. Miss, you are indeed a straightforward, and naive child. But, eventually you will come to know. About your own power's limit. No matter how much you struggle, there are situations in which nothing can be done. It is something that you must know. I shall pray that you will not regret your decision.」
[Thank you very much! Selia-sama!!]
Selia-sama reluctantly conceded.
Selia-sama said various things to me, but she said it all for my sake.
Please forgive this selfish me.
[It is a foolish question, but, Rou, are you going to remain, as well?]
[Selia-sama, I have no plans at all of leaving Leone. It is indeed a foolish question.]
My hand that's connected with Rou's gets gripped strongly.
[You couple are really quite alike. Take this. You will likely need to use it a lot tonight. After all, Miss' magic is nearly exhausted, and Rou, you probably don't have any magic aside from defense magic, do you?.]
Selia-sama produces another light ball with her magic, and she gives it to us before walking over to Giese-san.
[In spring, the crown prince will officially become the king, and it's supposed to be a joyous year, however, why is there a miasma outbreak? It is the end of the world, eh?]
Selia-sama laments over the state of the world, as she extends both of her hands and exaggeratingly looks up at the sky full of stars, while she walks.
[Let's go, Giese. It's no use to talk to the two of them any further. Let's not say goodbye. That's because I believe that it will not be our final goodbye.]
After saying that, Selia-sama is carried again on Giese-san's back as they walk.
The light ball that shines on Selia-sama and the others, gradually becomes distant.
Rou and I send off Selia-sama in silence.
Until the light ball could not be seen anymore, we stood still for quite a long time.
The winter night is quite cold, as the body heat gets taken away, but I can feel the warmth from Rou's right hand gripping mine.
[Rou… this is for the best, right?]
[Are you already regretting this? It's far too early. We have to try to do the best that we can do, Leone.]
I glance over at Rou as I turn around to face him.
[Un, that's right. I am sure that the role God talked to me means this incident, right?]
[Again with that talk? You never get tired of it, eh?]
[Isn't it obvious? It's my own experience of a miracle. Now, let's go, Rou. To the side of the people who are waiting for us.]
Rou and I quickly return back.
As we have decided, we continue to walk towards the little village that is invaded by miasma.
We are holding hands as usual, as we are on our way returning to the village in utter silence.
As we walk in the middle of darkness just like that, I reminisce on that time.
At that time, I wonder what would happen if my hand was not being guided?
[Leone! Look at the village!!]
As I was soaked with anxiety upon hearing Rou's strained voice, the hand gripping me got tightened.
It was my first time hearing Rou's voice like this.
When I turn my head towards the village's direction, a swaying and flickering light can be seen over there.
The light is flickering as it gradually spreads out.
It is as if the light wraps the whole village around itself.
I cannot believe the sight before me, as I shake my head.
But, the truth is a cruel thing, and Rou states it with his mouth.
[The village… The village is burning…]
In my mind, I recall Selia-sama's words.
[There is only one way to stop it. That is to sever the root of evil.]
It cannot be… it cannot be, this is a lie, right?!
[Were you not only going to block them?! Selia-sama——–!!]
I fall into despair upon seeing the sight right in front my eyes, and I crumble down to my knees on the ground.
To set the village ablaze, is it really how we are going to cut off the miasma at its root?!
Getting infected with the miasma does not mean that everyone will die.
Are we going to involve the people who still have the possibility to live?!
Is it because they already knew this would happen, so they are taking use of the darkness to escape from the village?!
Is that really what a healer would do?!
Please tell me! Selia-sama!!
[Leone, let's hurry up! There might be some lives we can still save!!]
There is still the possibility that there are survivors.
I need to save them, so what am I doing giving up?
The moment I give up, everything will be over.
[Let's go, Rou!!]
I stood up from the ground and ran.
I ran in a daze.
Being guided by Rou's right hand, before I realized it, I had started to run.
At that time, what was there past the light was something very crude.
Well then, I wonder what lies ahead the light of flickering blazes in the middle of this darkness?
We run towards the blaze of flames.
[How cruel… how could they do this kind of awful thing…!!]
The flames are raging.
The blaze of flames is burning up the village.
It feels as if the Demon lives in that place, as if it is the Otherworld.
[Get a hold of yourself, Leone! The only one who can save the village people are you!!]
We continue to run.
The flames continue to burn, and houses are crumbling.
The smokes make it hard to see.
The smell of charring in the air.
Shaking off everything, we run.
We are searching for survivors inside the houses that has little damage.
If it's possible, we want to save everyone.
But we do not possess that kind of power.
We only can save a few people.
We do not have the time to hesitate.
In that case, we have no other choice but to save as many people as possible from the houses that took little damage.
We discard the people who are in the houses with large flames.
I'm sorry that I'm so powerless.
But, even when I smash through the houses with small fire together with Rou, it's already too late, the people inside are already unconscious, and have passed away due to the fire.
And finally, we have reached the village's last remaining house.
Are there no survivors?
Please, let there be a miracle! Please, let a miracle occur!!
Somehow, please lend me power!!
[Someone–! Is anyone there?!]
No way… It's not good here, either…
At that time when I was going to give up…
[Ukh, it's painful… Onee-chan, help me…]
This voice is?!
[Emilia! Rou, come here! Emilia is alive!!]
Rou and I head towards Emilia's room, the source of the voice.
Over there, lying on the bed, hiding behind the blanket was the small, trembling body of a little girl.
[Hot, it's hot. It hurts…]
Emilia's consciousness is a bit hazy, but she can exchange conversations.
[You have done well. It's all right now. Rou, help Emilia!!]
[Emilia, it's safe now. I'm going to carry you.]
Rou then carries Emilia along with her blanked.
[Because… it's a promise…]
[That's right. It was our promise. Excellent, Emilia. Now, let's head outside.]
But the flames do not give us a moment to spare.
We hurriedly run towards the door to leave this place behind.
After all, we finally managed to save a very young life.
God, I thank You for Your mercy.
[Leone! It's dangerous!!]
Along with the voice, I can feel an impact on my body, and a roaring voice can be heard.
When I realized it, I was already kneeling on the floor.
On my back, I can feel something heavy on it.
When I opened my eyes, what got on top of my body was Emilia.
Not knowing what just happened, I turn to look at the place where I was standing at.
Over there, pinned under the debris was Rou's figure.
[Rou! It's a lie, right? Why?!]
I crawl out under Emilia and after placing her on the floor, I run with all my might to where Rou was.
I try to move the materials that lies on top of Rou, but it's not moving an inch.
This is a lie.
This has got to be a lie! An illusion!!
No, no, no!!
[Ple…ase calm down, Leone. Hurry… run… from h-here.]
A support beam presses against Rou's torso, and he lets out a voice full of pain.
[No! No!! Rou, you were protecting me. Sorry. I'm sorry. It would have been better if you hadn't protected me! It would be better if it was me who got pinned down!!]
I shake my head while hugging Rou who is collapsed, lying face-down.
[I'm here… to protect… you. It's… a given. Go. You have… to go.]
Rou pushes me away weakly.
Feeling like I don't want to leave Rou for even a moment , I hold both of his hands.
I try to look at Rou's face but I can't see him through the tears that started falling from my eyes without my noticing.
This is the result that I reaped.
The one receiving the punishment is me.
That's why, please.
Rou… please save Rou, God.
[We are always together, right? If I am not with Rou, then I won't get out of this place. Sorry, Rou. If only I didn't say that I would remain in this village, then this kind of thing would have never happened. But it's all right now. I am going to save Rou. Now, I am going to do healing magic on you.]
Rou who let out only weak voice until now, suddenly lets out a big voice.
My magical power is on the verge of exhaustion, and if I use it again, I will end up dead.
[…E, Emila… how is she?]
It's not only Rou and I here, there is a young life that needs to be saved, namely Emilia.
She cannot escape from this place alone because she's become so weak.
[The Leone I know… wouldn't abandon, any of the… villagers. …Leone is, always, the type of person… that would stand up, to anything. Leone's decision… is not wrong. Leone… save… Emilia…]
Hey, Rou. Because Rou was always there besides me, I was not afraid of anything.
What I'm afraid of the most is, that I am to lose Rou.
That is why, don't say things like that.
Rou continues to talk into my ear, as if nobody can hear him.
At those words, I cannot hold back my tears.
[I really want to return your words, Rou. But, if I return it, it will seem like a farewell, so I won't say it now. I will absolutely return and say it. That's why, please wait, Rou. After taking Emilia out to a safe place, I will definitely return.]
As if trying to sever away my emotions, I let go of Rou's hand.
Even though I felt like I should never let go.
In order to return to Rou's side as quickly as possible, I hurriedly carry Emilia on my back and run away from the flames.
My mind is filled with thoughts of Rou.
I want to look back, but I didn't want to waste time doing even that, so I just focused on running away from the fire.
Emilia and I finally managed to escape to a place where the flames couldn't reach us.
[Emilia, I am going to return to Rou's side. It's possible that… I won't be able to return. Even so, Emilia is a strong child. If someone comes, please ask them for help like you asked me. But, you cannot be found by the Lord. Because I am sure the Lord will do cruel things to Emilia. Sorry, Emilia. Sorry for not being able to protect you until the end.]
I am such a terrible person.
In order to satisfy my need to stay by Rou's side, I made a choice equal to sentencing this helpless girl to death.
Even though the only one that's able to protect this girl is me.
You don't have to forgive this selfish me, Emilia.
[Unn… Onee-chan, you need to go back. I'm… okay being alone. I will call for help, and I will also go and save both Onee-chan and Onii-chan. …that's why, hurry and go, Onee-chan.]
Emilia is trembling while being covered in the blanket.
I understand that her trembling is by no means due to the cold temperature, even so…
[Emilia… I pray for God to protect you.]
I am going to be by Rou's side.
You still have a future to spin.
In the end, even if I wish to save, I cannot save even a single person.
I wonder what in the world is my role.
In the end, I am just a helpless woman who cannot do anything.
I turn back and go by the road that I came from.
Rou, Rou, Rou.
At the very least, I want to protect the vow from back then.
I want to return your words, so please be safe.
It happened when I finally arrived in front of Emilia's house.
[Found you. You are the healer Leone-sama, right? We implore you come along with us.]
Being surprised by the voice that comes from behind my back, I turn around.
Standing there are six knights clothed in knights' outfits that are embroidered with the feudal lord's crest.
The feudal lord's subordinates?!
The ones who set this village on fire, the humans who look more like heartless demons.
Even so, perhaps these people might be able to save Rou.
After all, Selia-sama said that us, the healers, and our escorts, got the permission to leave the village.
Which means, even if they will kill the villagers they find, they will save Rou and I.
It's good that I was found out after I let Emilia escape.
Emilia, please don't get found by these people.
[My escort still remains inside this house! Please, save him!!]
The knights shake their heads to the right and left.
[Please, I'm begging you! Rou… please save Rou!!]
[We cannot do that. Even if we received the order to save the healer Leone-sama and her escort, the most important thing is, Leone-sama's life. The escort is just an add on. Besides, inside this blaze of flames, no one will be able to survive it, right?]
Add on?! Rou is Rou! He's not some kind of add on!!
[That cannot be! Rou is still alive! He is waiting for me! If you don't save Rou, then I won't be coming with you!]
The knights and I exchange glares.
Time spent here is time spent wasted for me right now.
I'm begging you, please try and save Rou!!
[It cannot be helped.]
[You're going to save Rou, right! Then, this way–]
At the moment I was about to guide the knights to Rou's place, I feel an impact on the back of my head, and watch as embers fall in front of me.
During the time my consciousness is fading, my ears heard some cruel words.
[We received the order to protect your life, but we weren't told that we should keep you uninjured.]
No… I need… to Rou's side…
Against my will, I lost consciousness.
Next time I woke up, the night already ended, and the village is already burned up, everything was over.
That day, I left Rou, and Rou has gone away from me.
The fire burned everything and returned everything to dust.
And thus, the small village disappeared from the world.
Even when I tried to go and search at the place I left Emilia, she was nowhere to be found.
I lost everything.
What remains in my ears were the last words Rou told me.
I was taken to the feudal lord's castle and was house arrested.
What foolish people.
Obviously I always keep a knife on me to be able to protect myself.
I take out the knife from my bosom and pull off the sheath.
With this, I can go to Rou's side.
I have to protect my last promise to you, Rou.
It is said that when people die, they are taken to the realms of death governed by the Goddess of the other world, and their soul will receive final judgment.
At the judgment, the souls will go to 2 separate places based on the good and evil.
The evil souls, will receive torture as punishment, and they will go to the country of the Earth, where the demons live.
The good souls will be welcomed with god's eternal blessings, and they will go to the country of the heavens, where the gods live.
I am thinking.
This world where people live in, it feels like the Earthen country in which the demons live.
That's why, I am sure Rou will go to the heavens.
It was when I took the knife to my neck…
[Miss?! Don't be so reckless!!]
The moment the door opened, Selia-sama appeared.
[Please don't come over here, Selia-sama!!]
Even so, Selia-sama still slowly approaches me.
[Selia-sama, why didn't you tell me everything?!]
[People are weak. When people get scared, they will not hesitate to resort to anything. We are of a foolish species that cannot help but to commit acts of evil because of it. That's why, it was decided from the beginning to set that village to fire. But, if we were to tell you about that decision, you will surely resist it, Miss. That's why, I lied and told you that we were going to block it off. Even so, I was flustered when you said you were going to return to the village. But, I asked the Lord's knights to escort Rou and you back, Miss, and I waited in relief…]
[What do you take human life for?!]
Her bitter feelings are shown on her face..
[This is the path that all healers must go through. Miss, I just want you to look at the reality of what being a healer is like. Miss, you don't know the sad fate of healers. That's why, I felt you should learn it for yourself. But while this may only sound like an excuse, this is not the result I expected! I did something inexcusable to Rou…]
[A sad… fate?]
The truth of being a healer.
A sad fate.
I have never heard of such a thing.
In the first place, the number of healers are only a few.
Selia-sama was the first fellow healer I have ever met.
[We healers are just people with a stronger wish to save others. There's nothing special about it. But people think that it's special, and they cling to it. And then, there come times when our power isn't enough, there are illnesses that we cannot cure. When it comes to that, people's attitude towards us make a 180 and they blame us healers. And so, the healers start to feel disappointed by their own power's limit, and they grow to distrust people. As the cycle repeats, they feel despair towards humanity, and the heart that wished to save starts to die out, and the majority lose the power to heal altogether. Even if they still have their power, there are people who decide to isolate themselves from other people. That's why, the light known as 'healing techniques' fades without being passed on to others.. The creatures known as humans are truly, terribly ugly beings.]
Selia-sama continues to talk without averting her eyes from mine.
I wonder if Selia-sama has repeatedly felt what I am feeling.
Her eyes, wavering from sadness, tell me that.
However, Selia-sama, now an old woman, continues to use her healing magic without having lost any of her power even now.
This person is really strong.
[That's enough! Selia-sama! I am going to protect the promise I made with Rou!!]
With all my strength, I cut myself with my knife.
Selia-sama rushes over to me and hugs my body.
[I'm so glad. That you are safe. Miss, you hold life so precious, there is no way you can cut your own life that easily. You do not allow your will to be bent over, you had a strong sense of justice, Miss. You accepted the reality without averting your eyes from it. You have graduated from being "Miss", Leone. Leone, you are a splendid healer.]
The thing that I cut.
It was my own hair.
On the floor, my yellow-colored hair is scattered all around.
Hair is a girl's life.
That's why, when women lose their partner, they cut their hair, and it is seen as a sacrifice that will accompany their partner.
With this, I have returned to Rou's side.
[Selia-sama, would you please cut my hair?]
I'm going to let Selia-sama cut my remaining hair.
I close my eyes as I feel the sensation of my hair being cut.
Swish, swish, as the knife cuts my hair, I feel much lighter.
It's as if I'm being separated from the world of man, and ascending to heaven.
[Leone… it's done…]
I slowly open my closed eyes.
But, the precious person who's always been there besides me is no longer here.
This is not the heaven where Rou is.
Hey, Rou. Please, just take me away with you.
The truth is, I want to go to Rou's side.
But, the last words that Rou said to me has completely bound me to this world of man.
[Leone… live. Please show… the light of hope to people. …someday, just like… what I declared at the hill. Leone… is just like dandelion. Just like… how their fluff flies… sow the seed of hopes. For my part, too… live. …and, I love you.]
For leaving me behind, how unfair.
Even so, Rou is still my beloved person.
I want to return Rou's words.
But, believing that I will be able to see Rou again, I will treasure those words.
Hey, Rou. Did you know?
The meaning of the flower that Rou said I'm similar to in the language of flowers.
Sincere love, God's revelation, separation.
And then, until the day we meet again.