A Match Made in Heaven

 
 
 

A Match Made in Heaven extra 44


It was the third day of their wedding. For the first time, Xin Mei didn't get up early to wash her hands to make bridal soup. After Liu Qianqiao finished his routine exercise on the high platform and returned to their bedroom, he saw Xin Mei was still in her original posture, which was being in a daze while still inside the quilt.

The General, who was fully expecting to eat his wife’s warm breakfast, was somewhat disappointed. He went over to touch her disheveled hair and asked softly, “What’s the matter? Are you not feeling well?“

Xin Mei’s dazed eyes wandered around and finally fell on his face, followed by her eyebrows went straight up.

“Lu Qianqiao,” she pouted, “You lied!”

He was startled.

“What did you promise me on our bridal chamber and ornamented candlesChinese idiom : wedding night¹?”

Lu Qianqiao touched one of his burning ears. On that day…he had said a lot of things. It just, it just happened that he was in a very special and confusing environment. At that time, she just said she wanted him to go to heaven to pick up the moon. Maybe at that time, he had agreed to bring the moon down. Now she asked him again like this…how should he answer?

“You promised me that you would let me be on top the next day! But you have broken your word!“

Last night, she was so excited that she couldn’t wait for him to fulfill his promise. After taking a bath, she rushed at him, pushed him down, climbed at him, and nibbled him up…By the way, she didn’t forget to open the ‘Orchid and Musk, Lovely Pistil Collection’ to the page of ‘Guanyin sitting on lotus’. She spread it open on the bed, as she looked at it and practiced on the spot.

As she grinded and rubbed at him, she became more excited and her blood started to boil. As she prepared herself for the most important next action, he suddenly reached out his hand and hugged her waist, turned her over and reversed their position. She was so unwilling to become the one under.

“You, you can’t do this! You broke your promise! Liar! You…you come at me again, I’ll call someone!“

Xin Mei struggled hard to defend her chastity and would rather die than surrender.

Lu Qianqiao swept away the troublesome ‘Orchid and Musk, Lovely Pistil Collection’. It fell to the ground and tearfully listened to the same lie told by the man in the bed who had lost his reason, “Next time…definitely next time.”

It had lived for hundreds of years. In hundreds of years, it had seen many men and women in the wind and moonpassion². With rich experience and great foresight, ‘Orchid and Musk, Lovely Pistil Collection’ concluded that although the cool and handsome General looked reserved and restrained, he was definitely not willing to live in the category of ‘beneath women’. Poor ‘Guanyin sitting on lotus’…You have become just a decoration…

“I really want to call someone!” A certain girl was still put up a last-ditch struggleChinese idiom : be in one’s death throes³.

“Stop it, stop it…you shout, break your throat…nobody can save you anyway.” The General was completely out of his mind.

“He wants to break my throat! Break my throat…”

Well, indeed no one came to save her. The pure and flawless little wild flower quietly withered.

Xin Mei withered all night, woke up in the daytime and continued to be withered and angry. Now, she was waiting for Lu Qianqiao to come back. Her withered anger could no longer be suppressed.

“Your words can never be trusted!”

Lu Qianqiao felt his face went hot again. It was extremely embarrassing for him. About this…how should he explain this?

“Xin Mei, every time you…I just can’t help it…”

She was so eager to roar, as if she were on fire. As a result, every time she arrived at the key place, she stopped and hesitated. Only if he was a saint could he bear it.

“I want to learn!” She thought for a moment and then added, “You should also study hard!”

……

【On the third day of their marriage, the bride turned her back on the groom’s technique and ran away from home in anger. 】— Anecdote of Qiong Imperial Mausoleum, recorded by Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁴.

Xin Mei rode back to Xinxie Manor on Qiu Yue. She wanted to find her father to complain. Lu Qianqiao was very good at everything, but too arbitrary in somethings. Moreover…moreover, bedroom mattersexual intercourse⁵ did not seem as fascinating as those in the books…she was still uncomfortable most of the time. Was this his problem or was it her?

But…it would not be easy to talk with dad about this kind of thing, wouldn’t it? Especially when that father always suspected her being the one who abandoned by men.

As Qiu Yue landed on the ground, seeing Xin Xiong’s face turned from surprise to panic, Xin Mei sighed. His first sentence must be—

“You’re being kicked out by son-in-law again?!”

She didn’t even have the strength to retort, so she just nodded. “Um, I’ve been kicked out. I’ll clean up the room and let me stay here for a few days.”

After waiting for a while, her father didn’t give any response. Xin Mei looked up curiously and saw his face looked painfully shocked like he had been struck by lightning. Then, his eyes turned over and he cleanly passed out.

Xinxie Manor once again became a pot of porridgefig. a complete mess⁶.

She felt that she was really a sinner. She was already married but still managed to make her Old Dad upset.

After Xin Xiong woke up, no one paid any attention to him. So he ran to the ancestral temple and cried with his deceased wife all afternoon until Xin Mei rushed over to admit her mistake. “Dad, I was wrong. I'm just loathe to part with you and Mom. Come back home and look, I will go back tomorrow.”

Xin Xiong wiped away tears with his sleeve, looked at her timidly and murmured, “…really?”

She nodded her head hard. “It’s absolutely true!”

Xin Xiong raised his trembling hand and pointed at her head. “Then, why did you comb your hair like an unmarried girl?!”

The State of Qiong was not as open as the eastern countries, where married women could still comb their hair in the style of unmarried girls in pursuit of freshness and beauty. While here, once you had a marriage, you became a married person, where you had to obey a marriage person style of clothes, hair bun and manner of speaking. They were completely different than when you were a maiden girl. In Xin Xiong’s view, it was absolutely abnormal for his daughter to have been married for some time and still have her hair hanging over her shoulders. Absolutely not normal!

Xin Mei rolled her eyes and said, “Nobody taught me how to do a married woman’s bun!”

It was not easy for her to get her hair into a proper shape that would not collapse.

Xin Xiong immediately felt relieved. “You can blame dad for not being thorough in everything. Your mother had left early and I didn’t invite your mother-in-law or someone to teach you about it before marriage.”

He bowed his head and thought for a moment, then he said, “Precious child, stay at home for a few days. I’ll invite your dagufather's elder sister⁷ to come over tomorrow.”

Dagufather's elder sister⁷ was Xin Xiong's dajieda=eldest/big, jie=elder sister, short form for Jiejie⁸.

Xin Mei’s impression of her was that her clothes were always bright and delicate. Even though wrinkles had spread over her face, dagufather's elder sister⁷ would look elegant and supple like a 28-year-old young girl from a far.

As soon as she saw Xin Mei, she smiled and came over to hold her hand. She spoke softly and coyly, “Little Mei, married women can’t keep this kind of hairstyle. Come here and let your dagufather's elder sister⁷ teach you how to comb your hair into a bun.”

Xin Xiong winked at her from a distance. Then she winked back to show her full understanding. So he went out to look after the precious spirit animals while feeling of ease.

“Little Mei, does your husband treated you badly?”

She asked in a low voice as she curled her hair up in front of the mirror.

Xin Mei shook her head, “No, he has been very kind to me.”

If she wanted anything, he would send it to her without any delay. She said that she wanted to see the Xin Mei doll. He would immediately go through the whole mountain, found a good wood, and made it. He would rest early every day, so that he could wake up earlier than her the next day, and she could see his deep eyes when she opened her eyes.

In fact…Lu Qianqiao had been really good to her all this time, and she knew it.

“But I don’t think you are very happy…since you often run back to your maiden house. Can it be your husband…”

Dagufather's elder sister⁷ lowered her head and covered her mouth with her sleeve, then she whispered a few words to her.

“No, no.”

Xin Mei shook her head fiercely, throwing tiger penis wine and deer penis powder out of her mind. Say…if she let him ate those things, wouldn’t she only become more uncomfortable?

Dagufather's elder sister⁷ covered her mouth with horror, “Is he too good?!”

It wasn’t like that…

Xin Mei gave her a difficult look. Dagufather's elder sister⁷, can you stop turning your face as red as sunset glow? Also with your face showing you're looking forward to gossip, added with a little shyness, I begin to feel truly terrified!

Dagufather's elder sister⁷’s ‘being intimate tactic’ did not work. She was grinding Xin Mei inside the room until it was dinner time, when she heard that Lu Qianqiao had come.

Xin Mei ran to the door with a group of people. As expected, Lu Qianqiao covered his eyes with a piece of black cloth as he rode on Lie Yun Hua. He spoke to Xin Xiong in a dignified and graceful manner.

Dagufather's elder sister⁷ looked at him for a long time with her face in her hands. Suddenly, she came close to Xin Mei’s ear and asked, “Precious child, was your husband a male virgin before marriage?”

Xin Mei immediately choked on her own saliva and nearly fainted.

Lu Qianqiao turned his head to her side with concern, though she actually could not see the expression of his eyes through the black cloth. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something. In the end, he could not say anything, as he was dragged into the manor by the tearful Xin Xiong.

Dagufather's elder sister⁷ nodded as she finally understood. “I see. Precious Child, hand over this matter to dagufather's elder sister⁷.”

What? What should she hand over? She couldn’t make heads or tailsChinese idiom : confused⁹ of it as she watched dagufather's elder sister⁷ followed the two into the manor, with her flowery delicate bright-coloured skirt.

【The bride returned to her family and complained to an experienced female elder. The elder was angry and found a private place to reprimand the groom. The groom felt ashamed. 】— Anecdote of Qiong Imperial Mausoleum, recorded by Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁴.

After dinner, Xin Mei had time to be alone with Lu Qianqiao—the two of them could be alone all night. This time they were already married, so they could stay in one room together.

When the oil lamp rocked slowly on the table, the shadows of the two also leaped slowly on the wall.

The black cloth covering Lu Qianqiao’s eyes has been removed. She didn't know what dagufather's elder sister⁷ had said that made him having a strange glow on his face. He had his head in the cloudsChinese idiom : absent-minded¹⁰, with his heart like a capering monkey and a mind like a galloping horseChinese idiom : restless¹¹. His mind had wandered far like he had gone to the primitive age.

Xin Mei poured him a cup of tea and pondered for a long time before saying, “Lu Qianqiao, I’m not angry with you. I just…uh, want to come back and see my dad. Let’s go back to the Imperial Mausoleum tomorrow, okay?“

He didn’t listen to her at all as he held the cup and poured the water inside the cup into his neck. He was so shocked by the heat.

……what did dagu said to him? He was like a bird startled by the mere twang of a bowChinese idiom : nervous/easily frightened¹².

She found a clean rag to wipe off the water stains on his clothes. She smoothly untied his belt to see any burn on his skin, and then—he took hold of her wrist.

“Xin Mei…” He looked at her with pity and guilt. “Sorry, I’ve been…it’s my fault.”

Xin Mei’s eyes lit up as she grabbed his jacket tightly. “Do you know what you did wrong?”

Did he meant that he would let her do whatever she wanted and let her do ‘Guanyin sitting on lotus’?

Lu Qianqiao nodded guiltily. Her dagufather's elder sister⁷ had said that although Xin Mei was already sixteen years old, she was physically a little more mature than other girls of her age. For some matters, there were only four words for him to follow : slowly draw her out. .

Slowly draw her out!

He touched her hair with tender feelings, “Go to bed early, I will accompany you…”

Before he even finished speaking, in the next moment, Xin Mei jumped up at him, took his head, then nibbled and kissed it. She tore open his coat and threw it to the ground.

“Wait …” He only had time to say a word.

“Wait my ass!” Xin Mei threw him down on the bed, “You promised! I push you down today! Don’t move!“

She couldn’t believe that his and her bedroom mattersexual intercourse⁵ couldn’t be as fascinating!

Pata! The pillows fell to the ground.

Ding ding! Hairpins also fell to the ground.

Lu Qianqiao was pale as he sprawled and lying stiffly on the bed. He was forced to grind his teeth to endure. In his mind, there were only four words: slowly draw her out! Slowly draw her out! He must be patient and took his time!

…She began to hesitate, undecided, misalignment, and dawdle…

He noticed the golden light in front of him, as if he saw the far end of heaven.

“Xin Mei…” He had a hard time spitting out these two words, “you…hurry up…”

Xin Mei held him down guiltily. Suddenly, he raised his hand but then put it down on the bed again. She mumbled, “Almost done.”

The bed curtain was violently shaking, which immediately followed by two wails from her, then she pushed herself up and out of bed. Strange, why did it hurt so much at first?!

This couldn’t be tolerated.

Lu Qianqiao held her waist with both hands, pressed her back down, and slowly rubbed her smooth back with one of his hands. He pulled her down and held her tightly on his chest.

“You always leave at that moment…are you doing it on purpose?” He gasped and put her soft earlobe in his mouth.

Xin Mei twisted around with all her strength, “You are not allowed to move! I’m going to push you down again!“

His hand slipped down inch by inch and went to the place she didn’t want him to go. She immediately responded, twisted even harder and wanted to get out of bed.

“I didn’t move…didn’t move.” He pulled her back with one hand and put his head on the pillow to show that he had not moved at all.

Slowly draw her out. Treat her gently. Take your time.

The hand that was on her back, slowly went up, picked up her gasping head that was buried on his chest and kissed her.

“I really didn’t move…look…it is you on top.”

He bit her soft lips and whispered.

…it should be slow enough now, right? If he went even more slow, he would die.

At that moment, she crooned inappropriately like she usually did. Lu Qianqiao stroked her head and asked, “……Does it hurt?”

She shook her head and nodded. He was not sure what it actually meant.

Forget it…he should just continue to slowly draw her out…

The end result, it was pure ecstasy.


An ancient Se
It was a bigger version of qin and the grandfather of guzheng. It had 25 to 50 strings, which made it huge, with movable bridge (the small things on the strings) and it tones could reach to five octaves. Guzheng was created based on it and much much smaller than a se.
Image Credit | , via Kknews

【The groom had worked hard since then, studying the way of getting along well between husband and wife. An out-of-print collection book was always available at home—Orchid and Musk, Lovely Pistil Collection. The groom and the bride, since then, had become qin and se sung in harmony (Chinese idiom : happily married couple). One should envy the mandarin ducks but not the lonely immortals. 】— Anecdote of Qiong Imperial Mausoleum, recorded by Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁴.

(Orchid and Musk, Lovely Pistil Collection : It’s none of our business. Their ‘Guanyin sitting on lotus’ is fake! We will never admit it!)

Noob Translator's Musing

When LQQ said "you shout, break your throat", he just wanted to say that if she shouted, she would damage her throat. XM misunderstood him. XD

And Xin Xiong, XM's father, was the most dramatic father. If he believed he could educate XM, he would run to his dead wife and would complain to her with tears on his face. I love him though...

I don't know if this was an alternative world or what, since Xin Mei did cook for LQQ bridal soup on the third day after they married. If this was in an alternative world, all of the characters didn't change at all. Only the circumstances changed.


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