Yandai Xie Jie No. 10


Yandai Xie Jie No. 10 epilogue 2

Epilogue 02: 《Long Hair and Buttons》

Liang Ze: I think Ikkyu is getting fat

Hang Hang: (Very busy, but still looks up): Nah, it grows out its hair during winter.

Liang Ze: (As if woken up from his dream): Oh, Oh…

Hang Hang: Write your manuscript!

Liang Ze: Ey, like you say, animals like dogs and cats grow out their hair during winter, why is that?

Hang Hang: To keep warm!

Liang Ze: Then why does human hair not grow out?

Hang Hang: (Being serious) It does grow out, if you don't believe me, then try walking naked on the street for a day, your hair certainly will grow out.

Liang Ze: (Being serious) Really?

Hang Hang: Yup.

Liang Ze became silent and started thinking. Come to think of it, he didn't wear much clothes during the summer yet his hair didn't grow out; but not wearing anything for winter, he has never tried it.

After a while…

Liang Ze: Owner, you lied to me?

Hang Hang lowered his head as he laughed out hilariously.

Liang Ze: Ey, Ey, Ey! You're not being kind!

Hang Hang: What do you mean not being kind? This torn up outfit of yours, why does it have so many buttons?

Hang Hang held up Liang Ze's coat that he had spent more than an hour sewing up all the ripped pieces. Counting from the sleeves to the collar, both inside and outside pockets, there were a total of more than a dozen buttons. This Idiot had also lost a button somewhere so he begged Hang Hang to sew in a new one for him — for prevention.

Liang Ze: You said you finished sewing it!

Hang Hang: I also said that the sleeves are crooked!

Liang Ze: Then let them be.

Hang Hang: Don't talk back, how you can wear it like that!

Liang Ze: They're just a bit crooked, it should be ok like that, right?

Hang Hang: No! Collapse, it's not ok, that ruins the whole outfit!

Liang Ze: (Gets up and comes closer) I think it's fine like that, I'm honest!

Hang Hang: Fine like that you say, take a look, your sewing skill is like sticking dumplings together…

Liang Ze: This sleeve doesn't look fit in, but your joint stitches are really good to cover it up.

Hang Hang: Really?

Liang Ze: I swear it to Chairman Mao!

Hang Hang: …He has been buried for many years.

Liang Ze: Let it be, don't fix it anymore.

Hang Hang: I feel that it looks a bit odd… It made me feel like I'm an elder tailor. {Translator Input: Elder tailor means he is so old that he can't see clearly and make hideous mistakes like one sleeve longer while the other is shorter ^^}

Liang Ze: Nowadays, everyone needs to have one or two side jobs, right?

Hang Hang: …

Liang Ze: Also, I'm still pondering over that hair growing matter.

Hang Hang: Why pondering?

Liang Ze: Maybe I should give it a try, I've done my analysis that human's hair doesn't grow out during summer because they don't need to keep warm. But it's hard to say about winter season!

Hang Hang: Even if you come to the North Pole and stay there for the winter, you won't become a polar bear!

Liang Ze: …

Hang Hang: This button is crooked!

Liang Ze: You stay here and get yourself busy, I'm going to write something.

Hang Hang: (Raging) What do I get busy with?

Liang Ze: (Pacing away as he shouts back) Maybe I can try to grow it out.

Hang Hang helplessly shook his head, he found that he won't get any accomplishment out of making fun of Liang Ze; instead, Liang Ze could make him so angry that he would choke on his rage. He would get mad at Liang Ze eight times in one day, it happened more regularly than him having his meal.

Twenty minutes later, Liang Ze brought a cup of coffee to Hang Hang.

Liang Ze: Shop Owner, I've thought about it. Even if human can grow out their hair, the hair would be black and it won't look good! Also, I realized that I've forgotten about the evolution in the human race, so I'm pretty certain that the human race won't grow their hair out; if it was thousands of years ago, when people didn't cover themselves in clothes, certainly their hair would grow out!

Hang Hang: (Face darkens) …

Liang Ze: Are you tired? Did your eyes get tired?

Hang Hang: Yeah, tired from looking at you! I'll go take a bath!

Liang Ze: Oh, then save some hot water for me to take a bath later!

{Translator Input: I know that hot water in Asian countries is often conserved. If the first person enters and uses up the conserved hot water, then the water heater has to heat the water again, and during that heating, the second person that walks in will not have hot water, and will have to take a cold shower. I think for Hang Hang's place, they are using this conserving hot water method ^^}

Hang Hang: You don't need to take a bath, wait until your hair grows out, then you can just lick it yourself!

Liang Ze: Fuck, even if it grows out, I don't have to lick it, I'll have Ikkyu for that! {Translator Input: Liang Ze means that Ikkyu will lick his hair for him if it grows out =.= Seriously!}

Hang Hang: With your body mass, it would exhaust Ikkyu to death!

Liang Ze: This…

Hang Hang: I really don't want to talk to you.

Liang Ze: Ack.

Hang Hang went into the bathroom and closed the door.

After taking a bath, Hang Hang thought that he should be more fierce towards Liang Ze, telling himself to not give in to the Idiot, but when he walked into the living room, he saw Liang Ze grinning from ear to ear.

Hang Hang: What are you so happy about?

Liang Ze: I'm playing answering game with Qi Ji! Haha, and I'm leading!!

Hang Hang: …that means you would have to work overtime tonight?

Liang Ze: (Surprised) How did you know? Shop Owner, you really can foretell anything like a god!

Hang Hang helplessly sighed.

You see, every time he wants to make a joke out of the Idiot, the loss is of his own.

Hang Hang: Go and try on your coat, I want to see how much it looks crooked.

Hang Hang went back into the bedroom to wipe his hair; when he came out, he was met with Liang Ze's grim face.

Liang Ze: Shop Owner…it's crooked, it's crooked really bad…

Hang Hang: What're you saying? Stand in the light for me to see.

Liang Ze turned on the chandelier in the living room, and then stood under the light; Hang Hang cringed.

Hang Hang: It's not crooked, you buttoned it wrong!

Liang Ze looked down, and noticed that the first button was in the wrong place, causing the whole line to be wrongly buttoned =.=

Hang Hang looked at Liang Ze, suddenly feeling that he himself was not just an ordinary superman, because he can live together with such a distracted child.

If he is an Idiot…

Then what becomes of me?

Hang Hang asked himself such question ╮(╯_╰)╭


Proofread: Kazuha