Golden Assistant


Golden Assistant Chapter 20

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Translator: Polarbearadise

Editor: FirstPersonNarrator

“Which places sell red envelopes?” Luzhou asked.

"You don't need to give my parents a red envelope.” Xiao Yi drove his brother's Santana, and said: “My money is given by you, how could we also take your red envelopes?”

Luzhou didn't care and only made a sound of interjection, Xiao Yi said: “Brother Zhou, I'll take you out to play, we'll go to a hot spring in the beginning of the year.”

Luzhou followed after Xiao Yi as they walked around the county for the whole day, Xiao Yi knew that Luzhou rarely went to public places in Beijing, he usually stayed at home or in a car, living the three-line lifestyle, even the shopping malls he had almost never been to, and if he wanted to go to a shopping mall, he had to go abroad instead.

(T/N: three-line lifestyle = Simple lifestyle)

Xiao Yi and Luzhou first went to play video games and then visited the flower market, in the beginning, Luzhou carried an expressionless face while looking at the stores, Xiao Yi knew that with his net worth he could buy the whole mall if he wanted, a piece of clothing on his body could cover a store, that was why Xiao Yi didn't take him to buy clothes, rather they visited the shops selling souvenirs instead, on the way they would eat some Hubei snacks.

In the afternoon, the two men were strolling in the flower market again, Luzhou was clearly very interested in the things in the flower market and said while looking, “As a child, during Chinese New Year, I wanted a lot of toys."

"Me too.” Xiao Yi held a potted flower as he watched Luzhou bend in front of a stall playing with those colorful things, it just felt very funny.

In the evening, the two men strolled in the large supermarket for a long time, everywhere there were uncles and aunties buying New Year's merchandise, Xiao Yi pushed the cart while Luzhou casually looked around, he threw things into the cart as if he didn't need money.

In the end, Xiao Yi had to call Xiao Qiang down to bring a large pile of New Year's merchandise upstairs, his parents were making hot pot to treat Luzhou, there were 5 people sitting at a table, during winter the hot pot on the table was braved with steam, at 8 o’clock the TV broadcasted 'The Golden Hound' where Luzhou was the main lead.

They were talking and laughing, everyone looked at Luzhou while eating, Xiao ba and Xiao ma apparently learned from Xiao Qiang what kind of person Luzhou was, and when they spoke, they were also very careful, Luzhou said a few jokes to dissolve the awkwardness, Xiao Yi smiled and said: "Everyone should treat brother Zhou like Duma, brother Zhou and I are very close."

When he was attending university, Duma sometimes would come to Xiao Yi's home to celebrate the New Year, Luzhou and Xiao Qiang then clinked their glasses, drinking together.

After dinner, Luzhou pulled up his sleeves and helped Xiao ma clean up the bowls and chopsticks, Xiao Yi's soul immediately flew away and scattered, he stepped forward to help but Luzhou stopped him and said: “What are you doing here! You can't do anything!”

(T/N: The soul flies away and scatters = to be frightened stiff /spooked out of one’s mind/terror-stricken)

Xiao ma laughed and said: “Let me, Xiao Lu you can just put the bowls and chopsticks in the sink.”

It was late at night, Luzhou was obviously a little tired from strolling around so he went to sleep very early, also before bedtime he proposed to go for a run the next morning.

Luzhou hadn't exercised for several days and Xiao Yi couldn't take him to the gym, he could only go for a run, but nearby there were a lot of people who kept dogs, if you ran, you would easily be chased by dogs, in the end, Luzhou scolded him, without any better option he decided to get up earlier in the next morning to run.

After Luzhou went to sleep, Xiao Yi especially monitored Xiao Qiang to see if he sneakily made a call or told his friend that Luzhou came to his house, Xiao Qiang apparently, for the sake of his car, guarded his mouth like a closed bottle and didn't tell anyone, Xiao Yi felt his heart lighten and called for a small family meeting, he specifically told his family that this matter was closely related to his work, his family then consistently promised that they would absolutely not give Xiao Yi any trouble, only then did Xiao Yi dare to go to sleep.

While living in Luzhou's house in Beijing, everyday Xiao Yi would hold onto his one-meter tall Luzhou doll and he was not accustomed to falling asleep without it, unconsciously he used Luzhou as a substitute for the doll, while sleeping Luzhou was also snoring, he was sleeping to the point of not being aware of anything, his arm rested on the pillow while Xiao Yi's whole body wrapped around Luzhou's body, his two feet sandwiched between the other's feet, like a koala climbing a tree.

Early in the morning.

When Xiao Yi found himself wrapped around Luzhou, his face immediately twitched, he very carefully let go of him and slowly moved aside, Luzhou was still asleep, his underpants had turned into a tent.

After Xiao Yi retrieved to the bedside, he took a deep breath.

"Hey……Brother Zhou." Xiao Yi carefully said: "I'm getting up—"

Half an hour later.

"Are you a man!" Luzhou, dressed in his jogging suit, was running in place in the neighborhood behind the road as he was waiting for Xiao Yi to catch up.

Xiao Yi was gasping for breath as he leaned against a tree for support, he said," You……You run ahead, don't wait for me……"

Luzhou: "I don't know the way, and you lack exercise!"

Xiao Yi was simply unable to accompany Luzhou to run, Luzhou was greatly above average, he had the background of a student in physical education, for him, running ten kilometers was like eating a meal, while Xiao Yi was from the music department, this was cheating! The assistant contract never said anything about accompanying the boss to run!

"HuーHuー" Xiao Yi's face looked deathly white, he felt like he had already reached his limit, every minute he felt like dying on the roadside, Luzhou exhaled a steaming breath, he took off his earmuffs, hat, and jacket revealing the vest underneath and exposing his robust arms, Xiao Yi followed from behind, limping as he went.

"You should exercise more regularly!" Luzhou said: "All day long you look so thin like a lean chicken."

Xiao Yi's eyes were going in circles, Luzhou said: "Get the money and go buy breakfast, I want to eat hot dry noodles."

The hot dry noodles stall was already opened, Xiao Yi was gasping for breath as he followed Luzhou to eat noodles, Luzhou ate two bowls and he also drank a cup of hot water to wash the food down, Xiao Yi ate one bowl, paralyzed in his seat and feeling somewhat comfortable.

"Put on a scarf, don't catch a cold," Luzhou said.

Xiao Yi said: "I can walk, I'm……dying, no no, I still can…… I mean now I feel like dying……"

After they finished the run, Xiao Yi was sweating all over and feeling more spirited, people had gradually increased, they walked through a long street and stopped at a bus station, ready to go home.

Luzhou's sweat had dried, the back of the vest was soaked with sweat, Xiao Yi was trembling while he opened the jacket to put it on him, the two of them were just passing the outside of the shopping district and were about to catch a taxi or wait for the bus.

"Excuse me…… Are you Luzhou?" a male high school student asked: "Can you give me……your autograph?"

Xiao Yi: "……"

Luzhou: "……"

Luzhou's earmuffs were off, his hat was also off, his hair was slightly longer and he wore the jacket after their run Xiao Yi and Luzhou completely forgot the matter of being found out while they were outside.

Luzhou immediately reacted and said: “Shh, don't yell, give me the pen.”

The boy almost fainted and said: “You you you, you are really?! I I I I ……”

The boy looked back, Xiao Yi's and Luzhou's hearts were thumping loudly at the same time, behind the bus station stood a group of high school students, it seemed that they were currently on winter vacation and went out to shop, eat and see movies, 'it is only 9 o’clock in the morning!' Xiao Yi thought to himself 'F***! You guys are also very diligent! It's winter vacation why don't you sleep at home, why on earth are you going out so early——!'

The high school students had already long discovered Luzhou and sent the boy to find out, Luzhou was scared as he was giving the boy his autograph, he then said: “Goodbye.”


“Ah ah ah ah——!”

A burst of crazy screaming, all the people near the bus station, within the shops and at the newsstand in addition to the cyclists, they were all frightened, a group of high school students then rushed over.


“Luzhou ah ah ah ah——”


Luzhou and Xiao Yi instantly broke into a run to escape, the two men protected their lives and ran like crazy, they rushed into an alley, Xiao Yi yelled: "This way!"

Xiao Yi had imagined it countless times but he never thought that fans would besiege them in his own hometown, Xiao Yi turned around and climbed over the wall and then stretched out his hand to pull Luzhou up, Luzhou shouted: “Move back!”

Immediately after that Luzhou kicked down the garbage can, he stepped on the garbage can and jumped up over the wall naturally without any restraint, the fans were chasing them into the alley while screaming: “Luzhou——!”

Xiao Yi dragged Luzhou as they were running like crazy out of the other side and rushed across the road, the fans turned the corner and once again caught up with them, there were people in all directions, Xiao Yi pulled Luzhou and rushed into the shopping mall, in a split second the shopping mall was taken over by screams of "Luzhou" "Luzhou" that almost overturned the shopping mall, because the clothes shop had just opened therefore the staff didn't know what happened, they looked left and right and after they clearly heard what the others were yelling about, in an instant they screamed, wearing high-heel as they rushed over.
“Didn't you have no more strength to run!” Luzhou roared
Xiao Yi: “It's a matter of life and death! How can I not run!”

There were more and more fans, Xiao Yi began to feel that this was like he was acting in all kinds of versions of Resident Evil, on the contrary Luzhou didn't run, he held onto the wall for support while panting, he waved his hand.
“I'm getting old, getting old……”

“Run faster!” Xiao Yi shouted: “Be careful or you'll be ripped into pieces!”
Luzhou: “……”

Luzhou spared no effort to sprint, together with Xiao Yi he bolted out of the garage, the fans chased them all the way out, but Xiao Yi's legs that ran like flying had successfully gotten rid of many, he then quickly took Luzhou and turned left and right, they then ran into a city's village and ran along the straight road, then went into a construction site without anyone in sight.

“You hide here!” Xiao Yi said: “We'll meet again half an hour later!”

Xiao Yi pushed Luzhou into a plastic film shed then turned around to run up the road again to lead the fans away.

Luzhou almost got a stitch, he ate almost half a jin of hot dry noodles plus drank a cup of water to wash it down, then he was chased by the fans all the way, his whole body was not in a good shape, his head made him feel like the sky spun and the earth were going around, the inside of his stomach was like overturned rivers and seas and his internal organs felt like they were gushing up, at once there was a 'wa' sound (sound of vomiting) as he threw up.

(T/N: 斤 (jin or catty) a unit of weight = to .500 kg or 500g)

“Quack—–!" A monstrous cry frightened him out of his wits.
Luzhou had just finished vomiting, when *kacha*, suddenly a lightning bolt struck across a clear sky.

(T/N: 咔嚓 (Kacha) = sound of something breaking or snapping
晴天霹靂 (lightning bolt strike across a clear sky) idiom for something shocking unexpectedly occurred)

Didn’t know who had raised two geese behind this shed, Luzhou made *wa* sounds then threw up on the two geese's heads.

“Quack Quack Quack quack——”

The two giant geese toward the Luzhou who was vomiting pecked like crazy, in the distance there was the third goose who issued a shrill outcry and rushed toward Luzhou at a flying speed, Luzhou was driven mad and began to scream loudly, he conveniently grabbed a bamboo stick and almost whipped the geese, but one of the geese snatched the bamboo stick at a lightning speed and disposed of it, Luzhou then madly yelled: "Help——!"

In Luzhou' life, he was most afraid of this thing, he could no longer hide anymore and decisively ran out while howling, the geese's fighting strength compared to the fans was simply a thousand time stronger, also didn't know who lacked such moral sense to raise geese at a construction site!

Xiao Yi ran and ran, then he stopped.

After being chased by dozens of fans, Xiao Yi turned around and said, “Hey! Luzhou is gone!”

The fans: “???”

Xiao Yi took off the baseball cap and naturally bowed, he said: “Our God said, I wish you a happy New Year! Study hard when school begins!"

Xiao Yi turned around and silently mouthed 'by all means, don't chase after me again' as his footsteps increased rapidly, he used Lingbo Weibu to dodge and ran into a park to mix into a crowd, then ran away quickly. He went to find Luzhou and saw that Luzhou was holding a bamboo stick, clinging to the front of the second floor of the construction site.
(T/N: 凌波微步 (Lingbo Weibu) = Literally meaning is 'tiny steps on water', a martial art practice in Jin Yong's martial art novel. A move where one run zig zag in fast pace to avoid attack, weapon, etc.)

Below there were three geese, among them there was one with a head full of noodles, its body was dripping and dripping with viscous liquid, it was angrily flapping its wings and arrogantly surrounded the bamboo stick.
“Hey!” Xiao Yi shouted, he picked up a brick and smashed it into the distance, he wasn't aiming for the geese but the iron pole instead, *dang dang* a loud sound resonated. Xiao Yi picked up a few more bricks and threatened the three geese as he rushed toward them, in a flash the geese ran away.

Luzhou was obviously frightened, his face was ashen and he looked to be in trance.

"Are you doing this on purpose! Tell me!" Luzhou suddenly roared.

“I I I……I didn't know there were geese here.” Xiao Yi felt aggrieved and cried: “I'm innocent, my king!”

'Who knew that you’re afraid of geese……' Xiao Yi simply couldn't imagine it, most likely he was bullied by geese as a child……Xiao Qiang’s car pulled up at the roadside after Luzhou came home, he didn't relax until lunch.

Du Mei’s phone call came.

“What the hell are you doing?!" Du Mei was about to be played to death by Xiao Yi and Luzhou, she said: ” How did you guys get to Hubei?”

“It's it's it's…… like this.” Xiao Yi explained the matters thoroughly, Du Mei didn't blame him, she said: “Going other places during New Year is also good, it has been many years since Luzhou has eaten a family reunion dinner, give my regards to your mom and dad.”

Xiao Yi breathed a sigh of relief and said: “Yes, yes.”

Du Mei said: “I have contacted the media and told them to not report this……Ah? Lin Yao, I suddenly feel that we can report this to the newspaper, let Luzhou record a video and wish everyone a Happy New Year, how do you feel about it?"

Xiao Yi and Du Mei discussed it for a while, then came to a conclusion that they would make Luzhou do a short video clip where he gave a New Year's blessing, it was better to directly say that he was going back home, then conveniently visit the Jingshan Hot Springs to celebrate the New Year, and when the time came the video would be posted on the internet.

On the same day at the dining table, a relative sent a roasted goose.

Luzhou: “……”

Xiao Yi: “……”

Xiao Yi thought to himself 'is this to give Luzhou a shock', Xiao ma didn't know what happened during the day and repeatedly advised them to eat more.

The next day, Luzhou dragged Xiao Yi to go running, he had apparently recovered from the trauma of the geese, this time they made a detour to the park, the air in Jingmen area was very good, the entire central region, including Shiyan, Wudang, Shennongjia and other places, all of these places were considered the lung of China, Luzhou hadn't done any outdoor sports for a long time, on the same day Xiao Yi rented a court to play badminton.

In the evening on the last day of the Lunar New Year, everywhere was filled with the sound of firecrackers, Xiao Yi's house had been busy since the early morning with food preparations, they were busy for a whole day. Xiao ma knew that they would go back on the third day and insisted that Xiao Yi and Luzhou ate more, Xiao Yi refused several times but in the end, he had to obey her.

Xiao Yi and Xiao Qiang versus the two chickens, Luzhou also personally helped with the cooking and other work. There were dried duck braised lotus, simmered chicken soup, deep fried fish in chunks, roasted lamb, braised fish…… Eight large dishes. Lotus root folder, stir-fry cabbage and four other side dishes, Xiao Qiang’s girlfriend who had to work a shift on the 2nd day of the Lunar New Year hadn't returned home, therefore she also came to his home.

Xiao Qiang warned her thousand of times to not go out and say anything about the god at his home, his girlfriend was shocked for a while and still had not regained her spirit, nevertheless, Luzhou was still being cordially as he talked to her, Xiao Qiang’s girlfriend had now somewhat calmed down.

Four cold dishes were brought up at the same time, a family of six people clinked their cups and drank, everyone was celebrating New Year, it was very lively.

Xiao Qiang’s girlfriend picked food for Xiao Qiang, Xiao Qiang immediately said "I can do it myself, I can do it myself, you eat more," Xiao Yi was busy serving Luzhou as he ate, Luzhou, on the contrary, felt a bit embarrassed and patted Xiao Yi’s head, indicating for him to eat and not worry about him.

Luzhou said a joke and the whole table was filled with laughter, Xiao Yi saw that Luzhou was a bit drunk and thought to himself 'bringing him home was the right choice'.

After eating the family reunion dinner, Xiao Qiang carried a large pile of firecrackers, four young people came downstairs and lit firecrackers in the neighborhood.

“Firecrackers have been banned for many years!” Luzhou shouted in Xiao Yi’s ear.

“What!” Xiao Yi shouted back to Luzhou.

Luzhou smiled, Xiao Yi's guts had grown very big, he directly lit up the lighter and lighted up the firecrackers, Luzhou immediately roared: "Don't court death!"

Luzhou dragged Xiao Yi back, one hand holding him while the other hand stretched out, and got into a martial art stance as he lit up the lighter.

Xiao Yi: “……”

When the firecracker issued an earth-shattering sound, Xiao Yi said, “When was the last time you saw fireworks ?!”

“In Dubai!” Lu Zhou smiled as he shouted.

“Is the fireworks in Dubai better than this ?!” Xiao Yi smiled as he shouted the reply.

Lu Zhou nodded, then shook his head.

After watching Chuwan (Chinese New Year's Gala on CCTV), everyone at the same time said Happy New Year to each other, Xiao ba smiled and said: “Xiao Lu, when will you be on the Chinese New Year's Gala?”

Luzhou smiled and said: “We who act in TV series generally don't get invited, if Xiao Yi puts in more effort, perhaps later it will be possible for him.”

Xiao Yi had on a rage comic face, he thought to himself 'are you teasing me?'

That night, Luzhou’s phone rang non-stop, everyone called to wish him a happy New Year, on the other hand, Xiao Yi sending happy New Year wishes one by one to every person on his Wechat, he also called Duma. He went to bed early, as a result, he touched a red envelope under the pillow, on the outside of the red envelope there was a word 'Lu (盧)' written on it.

On the back, there was Luzhou's signature and inside contained a signed photo of Luzhou and 2,000 yuan.

In the living room.

“Come, uncle Xiao,” Luzhou said.

“Ai Xiao Lu, don't do that!”

“To the elders, this is an established rule, it's a little of token of my appreciation.”

Xiao Yi looked up and saw that in the living room, Luzhou was giving red envelopes to his parents, he also gave Xiao Qiang one and said: “Work hard to make money.”

“Thank you, brother Zhou!” Xiao Qiang happily shouted.

Xiao Yi sat on the bed, he suddenly felt sad, he thought to himself 'if one day I truly become famous, I must repay Luzhou well'

However in this world, some mutual affection could only go from high to low, just like the surging river, forever flowing from west to east, some people, such as Luzhou, such as Duma, perhaps in this lifetime Xiao Yi would not able to reach a position where he could repay them, he could only often admire them and often feel moved. After admiring and feeling moved, he would again continue with admiring and feeling moved……
'Anyway I'm like this, with no ability, only this life' Xiao Yi had abandoned himself to despair as he thought, 'I'm dignified and imposing, an inferior person with indomitable spirit, brother Zhou doesn't need me to repay anything, I just need to be sincere toward him, uhm, with a clear conscience……This is good, Happy New Year, brother Zhou!'


P.S. Ancient or modern? XD